Weblog Awards: Evil HR Lady Won A Medal!

The polls of the 2007 Weblog Awards closed 20 minutes ago and the absolutely un-evil but totally sarcastic (in a good HR way) Evil HR Lady made 3rd place in the Best Business Blog category!

And since I'm not just a touchy-feely HR Guy, but also a hands-on numbers geek:

• 4'354 votes in total
• 508 (11.7%) votes for our girl
• the winning blog didn't even make the majority ("only" 36.4%)

This is nothing new to those who are familiar with the blog of the Mistress Of Precious HR Advice, but:

SHE RULES!

Challenge: Wally's 5 Things

Wally Bock over at the Three Star Leadership Blog has accepted my challenge and posted a great article called Last gasp advice for managers.

But sharing wisdom from his rich experience isn't enough for him. He also took the "you will die soon" part seriously, even including "somber organ music".

Finally, he calls me the "Swiss HR Priest". Do I see new business cards in the near future?

The challenge is still open! You can get more information here and also read HR Wench's "5 Things" whose article "I Say Good Day Sir!" inspired this challenge.

Challenge: 5 Things to say to Managers

Imagine: You're an HR Professional and you will die soon. What are the 5 things you would say to the managers in your company?

Remember, you're dying. You have nothing to loose. And if you believe in Karma, lets assume for the sake of this challenge that your comments don't count against your Karma score. So you can say whatever you want.

What would you say?

Here is some background information. I challenge every HR Blogger to write about their "5 Things" and send me the link to their post.

Link: How not to reply in a job interview

Here's a great post from HR Wench about what not to say in a job interview.

The Perfect Candidate, is the description of a phone interview. The candidate is so honest it almost hurts...

I'm all about honesty, that's not the question here. But if an HR professional gets these answers and doesn't reject the application, this could almost be a reason for termination for cause (depending on the national or local legislation, of course).

Needless to say, it's hilarious. Example:

Well he's used to being paid more but it will do while he looks for something else.

Go read it, it's worth it!

Link: Carnival of HR

Carnival means party. Carnival of HR means... well, it's not like us HR freaks didn't know how to party... really...

Anyway, the other day I posted a link to the incredibly evil, oops... incredibly wonderful Evil HR Lady's post about Halloween and Terminations. But I forgot to mention that this article was part of the newest edition of the Carnival of HR hosted this time by the HRO Manager.

The beauty of the Carnival is that it features articles about many different topics written by people from various backgrounds with sometimes very different points of view. But at the end of the day, it's all about HR!

The articles I read so far:

Evil HR Lady: of course. See above.

Ask A Manager: How should new managers be trained?
You want to see a diploma when hiring a Systems Administrator, but who trains your managers? Lots of useful information.

Michael Wade: Dangerous beliefs
You know how to behave in a company and what to expect? Read this post. Even if you already know everything mentioned in this post, read it and enjoy. Sometimes it's good to be reminded and to think about what we thought we knew.

Deb Owen: How sensitive should HR be?
Sometimes it's our job to listen and be understanding, other times we must be able to say no. Deb also doesn't mind if somebody drops the "f*** bomb" (translation for non-US readers: "fuck bomb". The Yanks like to write in riddles, or in the case of MTV, in bleeps).

Actually, the HRO Manager's comments are much better than mine, so go check out his quick summaries here and then click the links for the original articles.

The other day somebody asked me:
"What do you want to do when you grow up?"

My answer:
"I want to participate in the Carnival of HR!"

I've been told before that my sense of humor is kinda strange ;-)

J-2: HR cares

This is a guest post by my good friend Johnny. According to him, he's the bestest HR Manager in the world. But he also knows some stuff about me and thus convinced me that it was in my interest to let him use my blog to voice his opinions from time to time. Or else...

By Jaded Johnny (J-2)

The other day an employee interrupted one of my numerous "quality thinking sessions" (QTS). Since my office door is always closed, the knock on the door alerted me and gave me enough time to safely store my trusted cushion in the file cabinet. But I digress...

The good man had a question for me. I don't remember what he said exactly, but it had something to do with "yadda yadda... unfair... me want raise... are you actually listening... I'm entitled to... blah blah... right now."

After giving him my full attention like any HR professional would do, weighting both sides carefully and taking a sip of cold coffee (a good QTS session takes its time and coffee gets cold after some time), I asked him one question. After that the case was closed and he left.

That's the way to do it: listen closely! And instead of telling people what to do, ask them a challenging question and help them find their own answers. I think the appropriate buzz word is "empowerment".

My question was:

Just out of curiosity, what was it exactly that gave you the impression that I care?

Recruiting: Send regret emails efficiently (2/2)

Part 1 was a walk down memory lane. Back then when HR still received applications by snail mail.

In this part I'll describe how you can send a regret email within seconds.
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If you receive all applications by email (to your personal email address or a team mailbox) and need to answer each message individually, this might be helpful.

The tools: Outlook with a few shortcuts and Texter

Texter is a nifty little tool developed by the great people at Lifehacker [1]. It's Windows only and also portable, this means that you can launch it from a USB stick if you aren't allowed to install programs on your work computer.

Once started, right click on the Texter icon on the task bar (usually on the lower right corner of the screen) and add a standard text. Example:

Dear

Thank you for applying with The Rebellion Inc.
However, we regret to inform you that your professional experience doesn't completely match the requirements of the position.

We wish you all the best and hope that you will soon find your way back to the light side of the Force.

Best regards

Mon Mothma
Leader of the Alliance

Assign a keyword or an abbreviation to this text snippet, but make sure that you use something that you wouldn't usually type. So instead of "regret" you could use "eemregret". Finally, define a key that will activate the text insertion, for example the space key.

Faster than the naked eye can see

First put all emails you want to reply to in a single folder.

1. select the first message and click "Enter" to open it
2. press Ctrl+r to reply
3. select the tab key until you're in the body of the email
4. type "eemregret" and press the space key to insert the text
5. use the arrow key to go to the 1st line and type "Mr. Vader" after "Dear"
6. select Alt+s to send the message
7. press Ctrl+d to delete the original email and activate the next application

And if you want to finish with some cleaning up:

• all deleted messages are in the "Deleted Items" folder. Sort by date, select all applications and move them in one quick swoop to your archive folder
• repeat for all sent replies (you will find them in the "Sent Items" folder)
  

The secret is to always keep your fingers on the keyboard. If this is too difficult, hide the mouse in a drawer.

Practice until the movements become automatic and your fingers are just a blur.

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[1] Lifehacker.com is a productivity blog with something for everyone from utilities under Windows, Mac or Linux to time management and even clever household tips.
[2] Mon Mothma is a character from Star Wars.