09 February 2008

J-2: Are you a successful HR professional?

This is a guest post by my "friend" Johnny. Since he talked to the media my mother is calling me 10 times a day. So I had no choice but to let him post once again...

By Jaded Johnny (J-2)

The other day I talked to a former colleague. He very proudly told me about his test that supposedly proves that he's a successful HR professional.

He said that although working in HR for 10 years he never:
  • used illegal drugs
  • had a nervous breakdown
  • physically assaulted an employee
This, of course, is pure nonsense. In my book you're a successful HR professional if you regularly beat up employees and manage to get away with it.

I'm still working hard on reaching this state of pure bliss, but SatireWire's Employee Slapping Widespread, Effective ("Feel the stress fly off your fingertips") is always a great inspiration.


Rachel - former HR blogger said...

I work for an organization that provides housing for the mentally ill and chemically dependent. While many of our clients are what you'd expect from these populations, I have come across several addicts and mentally ill that used to have high paying management jobs (even HR). It's scary to know that I could be next. I often feel like asking them, "At what point did it become too much."

Anonymous said...

The Employee Slapping Technique sounds very similar to my sister's patented "Shake Therapy". Hmmm...I feel a blog post about Shake Therapy coming on.

Happy Employee said...

"Shake Therapy" sounds interesting. I'm always open to learn additional or alternative techniques ;-)