21 December 2007

J-2: Scare Your Friends While Making Your Enemies Happy

This is a guest post by my friend Johnny. He knows stuff about me. So I let him use my blog...

By Jaded Johnny (J-2)

Scaring your friends is fun. And it's also a great way to find out who really cares about you.

If you're a man with long hair, some or all of your co-workers will ask you stupid questions like "When will you finally cut your ugly hair?" Here's what you should reply:
I'll cut my hair the day I'll start looking for a new job.
Don't say this too often. And select the right people to say it to.

Ideally, they shouldn't know you too well, so they won't be 100% sure whether you're kidding or not. They must also have a good memory, so they will remember what you said when the time is right. And finally, they should like to talk to people from other departments. This way, the day they remember what you said, the news will spread like wildfire all over the company.

Of course, this takes a lot of careful preparation and you can't rush it. But when you're sure that the time is right: Go and cut your hair!

If you don't have long hair, growing a beard will be faster (and probably just as ugly).

Women can play this game too. It's less dramatic with the hair, but it can work if you never put on make-up or wear a miniskirt.

And it's also great for teamwork. Find a partner in crime and have this person ask the question in a public situation. Possibilities are a meeting with people from other departments or at the cafeteria when everybody is pretending not to listen to your private conversation.

Be creative. Do evil. Have fun!

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